I am the kind of person that likes to be organized and have things planned out. That's why most of my reviews are on Tuesdays, and the Don't Quote Me meme is always on Wednesday. Then, I have my Nanowrimo Update every Saturday. I think that it's time to show you some of my writing. I am not sure how often I can do this, but I'm hoping to post a little short story or paragraph every Friday. Please send me feedback and suggestions for writing.
I wrote this short story because it was something that has been on my mind for a while. I also have a fictionpress account (Clarareads) so if you want to read anymore stories I will put them up there first.
The day was not cold when I first met Bobby. He was in the crowd where privileged rich kids wear pastel polos, and talk about basketball shoes like it’s their living. In my past two years at this same school, I never talked to Bobby. I’ve seen him around in the halls every now and then, but he was not someone I had any relation with by friends. The middle school social caste was too big of a gap for us to ask the other the time.
Bobby stood out the first time I walked into class. He had that hair that went out of style a few years back, but he still had the side swoop long straight hair. I knew nothing about Bobby, and to this day I don’t.
His eyes lingered when class started. Those blue eyes lingered for months after wards. When I would be writing something, or working on test, I would look up and notice that his face was always directed to me. Sometimes, I’d be wild enough to look at him in the eyes. Bobby, of course being his high demeanor, would not look away. His face didn't register the fact that I looked at him.
I had many hypothesis about this look he always had. My first assumption was that he wasn't really staring at me, he just happened to be looking in my direction. Though, later on I found that even when I move seats, he always stares at me. Sometimes, he would smile when he gets a chance for us to work together. I could visibly see the gears turning in his head to conjure up a plan.
The second assumption was that he was pretending to not register my movements. As if to say, it was just a one time thing that I happened to look at him. It was me who was caught staring, but everyone presumes the first stare is of nothing. I was just looking over there.
My last assumption was that he found me repulsive. I’m not a person who has a low self esteem or thinks badly of myself, but sometimes you have those days where you think you are terrible. The days when you feel like you aren’t good enough, you’re ugly, no one wants you, and just over all down in the lakes and you can barely make out the sun rays. I thought this through as a serious situation. I don’t always look my best everyday, but sometimes I feel like I can rule the world, and I hope that it comes across in my appearance. So when a guy who is much higher in the social caste is staring at a lowerlee(a slang term for people in the lower caste), I get paranoid. Since, I am the one being stared at, it gets on my nerves and you start to over think things.
There is something I should mention. Bobby has a girlfriend. His girlfriend is ‘head’ of the school. She is not the girl when during elementary school, she was the nicest person you’ve ever met. Everyone was certain that this other girl who was the nicest person you’ve ever met, would become ‘queen bee’. Bobby’s girlfriend was The Mean Girl. She was not as cruel as Regina George, but she comes pretty damn close.
So what does that mean? I have no idea. I’ve considered this factor since I heard about them dating. I’m not the kind of girl that knows all the school’s gossip. I barely ask about my friend’s love life, let alone the love lives of people I don’t know. Apparently, Bobby is only dating head girl, Alice, for her looks. For her body. Though, I trust my friends that tell me about the love lives at our school, I don’t particularly trust the people whom my friends get their information from.
Where do I stand now? I don’t know. I feel so nervous around him these days, it gets on my nerves. There was a time-still now-where I think Bobby was trying to ‘lure’ me, as if he was waiting for me to bite the bait. I think now I have bit the bait, and I feel terrible for it. As Taylor Swift’s new song says,’I knew you were trouble when you walked in.” Now, I can’t help but wonder about Bobby. I can’t help but to try to find him in the crowd where I think he will be because his posse does a revolution around him each day. I can’t help but remember the color of the jacket he wore in the morning, so I can spot him out throughout the day. I can’t help these things, and I hate myself for biting. If I could undo it, then I would.
I don’t like to be controlled by someone else. I detest the idea that someone is controlling how my life is going to turn out. So, this has gotten on my nerves for so long, it feels like a relief to write it down. It is more like something that needed to be written, and I have been giving myself excuses not to. What is there for a girl to do?
Another thought I had about Bobby, was what if he did this to a girl every class? Is this his way of making him feel better about himself? Is this his way of making sure that he will never be alone? There will always be a girl around his shoulder, and that is why I detest him. I am beyond bias at this point, and I have no right to bash him, but I don’t like him. The way he acts makes me want to run from the concentration camps, because he is higher than the commander in chief… or that’s what he thinks.
Bobby is the guy that thinks he is going to get every girl he asks. To be fully honest, if Bobby was to ask me out at this moment-in the past, or future-I would refuse. Okay, maybe not in the future depending on who he really is years from now, but definitely if it was the past or now, I would gladly be the first girl that refused Bobby.